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Tails 2019

My Journey Through the 12 Steps of NA

  • 09 Insanity
    071. Did I believe I could control my using? What were some of these experiences with this and how were my efforts unsuccessful? Yes I believed I could control my using and I tried hard to. I tried [read more…]
  • 08 Hope
    070. What do I have hope about today? I have hopes of becoming a counselor one day, and of finishing my studies. I have hopes about maybe being a mother one day. I have hope I can remain clean. [read more…]
  • 09 Moving On
    067. How do I know it’s time to move on? I think I have spent enough time now on Step One, having already recently completed it with my first sponsor. 068. What is my understanding of Step One? That [read more…]
  • 08 Spiritual Principles
    053. If I’ve been thinking about using or acting out on my addiction in some other way, have I shared it with my sponsor or told someone else? Yes. I’d been craving and thinking about using [read more…]
  • 07 Surrender
    047. What am I afraid of about the concept of surrender if anything? Not being able to ever use again. I still feel I am missing out, even though I know that I don’t want to go back to using. I [read more…]
  • 06 Reservations
    042. Have I accepted the full nature of my disease? I’d like to think so but I don’t think I can claim so if I still have reservations. 043. Do I think I can still associate with the people connected [read more…]
  • 05 Unmanageability
    026. What does “unmanageability” mean to me? Not being able to prioritise properly. No longer being in control of one’s actions. An increase in negative behaviours. 029. What trouble have I had with [read more…]
  • 04 Powerlessness
    019. Over what, exactly, am I powerless? Other people’s actions/thoughts/etc. Taxes, petrol costs, and such. 020. I’ve done things while acting out on my addiction that I would never do when focusing [read more…]

My Recovery Insights

  • I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder
    I was officially diagnosed in mid-2018 as suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, along with depression and anxiety. From as young as I can remember, I’ve always had intense emotions. When I was happy, I was super happy, and when I was sad I was almost broken. However, in contrast to people who are Bipolar, my ups and downs didn’t each last weeks at a time, I could (and did!) fluctuate from happy to depressed to fury and rage in a matter of minutes. As a kid that can really [read more…]
  • How archery benefits the addictHow Archery Benefits the Addict
    It’s true! Archery benefits the addict! Archery has helped me in so many ways in my recovery, and I think it’s a safe and healthy way of fulfilling my reward-seeking tendencies of my inner addict. My achery story I took up archery a good few years ago and shot with a recurve bow for about a year and a half. Skip forward to 2018 and I finally bought myself a bow! I had the choice to go recurve, which is what I knew and what I’d shot up until then, or go compound which I’d [read more…]
  • What Makes A Good Sponsor?
    What is a Sponsor? As soon as we enter the Fellowship of NA, we hear this word Sponsor being bandied around in meetings. So first, let’s go over what is a Sponsor? The official NA literature describes a Sponsor as the following: an NA sponsor is a member of Narcotics Anonymous, living our program of recovery, who is willing to build a special, supportive, one-on-one relationship with us. With a bit more understanding on that, you might have some questions: Where do we start? How do we [read more…]
  • Common NA MythsCommon NA Myths
    What are some common NA Myths floating around? There are so many common NA myths that I’ve heard since I’ve been a grateful member of Narcotics Anonymous. Before stepping into NA, I only knew what I had seen on TV. And while they got it right a lot of the time, they also got it wrong. A lot wrong. It’s unfortunate because I think a lot of people don’t know how to approach their first meeting. So let me help you out by listing some common misconceptions and giving my [read more…]

If you need to talk, reach out!

You are never alone. Please reach out to someone, even if you drop me a message. Otherwise check your local community for any of the available self-help meetings like NA, AA, Al-Anon (for family members dealing with addicts), etc. Remember, they are free and anonymous.

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