019. Over what, exactly, am I powerless?
Other people’s actions/thoughts/etc. Taxes, petrol costs, and such.
020. I’ve done things while acting out on my addiction that I would never do when focusing on my recovery. What were they?
I’ve lied to and manipulated people. I’ve neglected friendships & family. I borrowed money I never paid back. I’ve taken advantage of people. I neglected pets where I should have been there for them. I damaged my partnership because I prioritised drugs over my marriage.
021. What things have I don’t to maintain my addiction that went completely against my beliefs and values?
(answer shortened due to the nature of private content)
I’ve compromised myself and my dignity. I lied to those who knew about my addictions and made them seem less severe so I could keep using.
022. How does my personality change when I’m acting out on my addiction?
I become manipulative with my friendships. I become self-centered, believing that I need to be the life of the party (for one eg). I become less classy in my actions, often resulting in me compromising my dignity.
023. Do I manipulate others to maintain my addiction? How?
Using my sexuality, I’ve bribed men to buy me drugs.
024. Have I tried to quit using and found that I couldn’t? Have I quit using on my own and found that my life was so painful without drugs that my abstinence didnt last very long? What were these times like?
Yes. I tried coming off my DOC twice cold turkey. I didn’t make it past 58 hours on my longest attempt. I could see I was trying but couldn’t do it alone.
025. How has my addiction caused me to hurt myself or others?
I abused my body physically with blunt objects, knives, etc. I hurt my family by using drugs. My work suffered because of my lack of sleep and because of that my work colleagues were affected negatively. I de-valued my marriage.