Tails’ Blography

Over December my Orly was ill with headtilt but with the grace of God, pulled through before Christmas. I medicated her on Baytril right up until I left for JHB for training.
When I returned, she was ill again and last Saturday she had a seizure, which I think could have been brought on by the Doxy/Baytril combo. I stopped using the Baytril, but expected to have to take her to the vet on Monday to say goodbye.

But by Monday, she was fine! Her head tilt had cleared up, there was no porperhin to be seen, and although she sneezed occasionally, her appetite was good, she was eating healthily and zooming around the couch at the best speed she could muster. My heart soared for her! Every time I looked into the Settitube, hammock or box she was sleeping in, my heart swelled to see her bright eyes looking back at me. She had made it through a second illness. My girl is strong!

Yesterday morning I sat by the cage, thinking how blessed I am to be working from home that I can see them all day and cuddle them when I feel lonely. I played with my two girls yesterday morning and took a few videos of them on my phone. I picked Orly up and cuddled her to my chest and she bruxed. She had started bruxing every time I cuddled her, so I was unsure whether she was happy or annoyed I gave them left over OatsoEasy and Orly ate heartily alongside Wormy.

I left for yoga that evening, at 17:50 and returned at 18:20. I walked through the lounge, put down my yoga things and turned the oven on for dinner. Immediately after that I went straight to the cage and found Orly on the floor of the cage. She had an unnaturally flat look to her and first thing I thought (from V’s descriptions of her boy’s seizure) that she was recovering from a seizure. Then I noticed her back legs stretched out behind her and her little back feet were blue.

I’m ashamed to say I couldnt reach in and check for myself, so I ran to get the bf who reached in and felt she was very cool. I sobbed so hard because this was so unexpected after the week we had had. Eventually I reached in and picked her up. Her belly was still warm but there was no heartbeat and she was blue. I cuddle her lifeless body for a long time and eventually wrapped her in toilet paper, put her in a box, and put her in the deepfreeze. I will send her for cremation today.

I dont know what happened. She seemed fine, there hadnt been any sign of returning headtilt and I hadnt seen another seizure. I didnt notice any breathing problems like gasping or anything to point towards a collapsed lung, so I can only presume she had a heart attack. She looked peaceful, so I pray it wasnt a painful death. I pray it was quick and that she didnt suffer.

My Orlith. You fought through two illnesses, you bullied Wormy and Ramoth in your prime, you melted Daddy’s heart to rats. You were my Ball-y, my Orlywhip, my Fatbelly Girl. I remember in your prime you were the hussy who vibrated every few days like clockwork. You will forever be in my heart, and you will be sorely missed. I love you my Ball. Thank you for fighting so hard for me, especially over Christmas. Finally you can rest in Peace. You deserve it.

RIP Michael Jackson – 1958 – 2009

Were you a Michael Jackson fan?

Hell yeah! He was a Legend!! (100.0%, 4 Votes)
Yes (0.0%, 0 Votes)
Not really (0.0%, 0 Votes)
No (0.0%, 0 Votes)
Hell no! (0.0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 4

Glad to see I’m in good company here. His death was such a shock to me, and I am not ashamed to say I did shed a few tears whilst playing his music on loud in my living room the night he passed. His music was haunting and truly beautiful, and saw me through a big part of my childhood. I will miss his music, and may his soul finally rest in peace. May we one day indeed Heal The World.

Charities MJ supported (source):

AIDS Project L.A.

YMCA – 28th Street/Crenshaw

New poll up, one that everyone can partake in, but its not very inventive cos I cant think of anything interesting right now haha (dont worry, votes are anonymous if you’re unsure).

Have a great week!

Elena Ratilovski: May 3 1987 – Feb 29 2008

Its hard to believe its already been a year. I’ve mentioned it briefly in my blog before, but to explain, a year ago my friend’s sister was involved in a car accident. Her car rolled and she was flung approx 20m where she almost landed in the river running parallel to the road. She was blessed enough to have a paramedic driving by at the time (who actually left work 10min early and took a different route home for the first time that night!), and he managed to get her breathing again and got her to the hospital.

It was only 6 days later when we knew she was leaving us. There were four of us by her bedside when she passed, and that experience has changed my life. Its a whole new world when you have to comfort someone when her own sister, her best friend throughout her life, passes away. You wonder if you’re saying the right words, holding her for the proper amount of time, or just simply being what she needs to get through the one of the most difficult times she’ll ever have to go through.

Elena passed away on Feb 29 2008, a Leap Year. She was only 20 years old. Elena was a fun, outrageous yet kind individual, who’s time came too soon, and she is sorely missed by many, many people.

Elena, wherever you are, thank you for lighting up my life in the short time I knew you. Its been a year, so much has changed, but your memory lives on just as strong. Until we meet again…we miss you.

Viia and Elena at Kirstenbosch

Viia and Elena at Kirstenbosch

Her memorial table at her memorial service

A table of photos that people chose from, framed, and took home.

Elena Ratilovski: May 3 1987 – Feb 29 2008

Diane (you’ll always be Didi to me!)
16 May 1960 – 09 Jan 2009

This is a very difficult post for me. On the 9th of January 2009, I had to say goodbye for the final time to my beloved aunt. She passed away at 8:45pm after a long battle with cancer, which she very nearly overcame.

Memories of this beautiful woman will be with me forever. She’s been in my life pretty much since I was born, and has always, always been there for me when I needed her. My sister and I lived with her for a while when we made the move from JHB to CT, and since then, I’ve always looked up to her. She was, is, my role model. The beauty this woman had inside her is difficult to voice, and it pains me that she was taken so soon. Her ability to love unconditionally, her compassion, her ability to forgive, everything about her is inspiring. I use present tense as I write this, because she will continue to inspire me throughout my life, as she did before.

I remember her voice clearly, especially her using my full, hyphenated name, which I rarely used, often opting to go by the shorter version. She always addressed my cards to my full name, and only in the past year have I started doing the same. Her laughter will forever ring in my ears, including her unique snort. Her laughter was infectious, I adored it. There were so many things I loved about her, too many things to write down. Even if I could, it saddens me that no one would fully understand just how special she was.

She had many dreams, some of which were mirrored by me. She loved animals, and gave extensively of herself to the benefit of animals in need in whichever way she could. Her kindness is something I wish to keep within myself, and always remember her for it.

Didi, you were taken from me far too soon. I cried so much by your bedside, but I know you are in a better place. Your heart needed to be free, and you are now reunited with those who passed before you. May they hold you close and keep you safe until we meet again. I am thankful for the time we spent together, the wise words you gave me, and the special bond between us. I’m thankful I got to know you properly, adult to adult, and it breaks my heart that you wont be around for my milestones like getting engaged, married, and having kids. I will tell my children about you, though my heart breaks knowing they will never know one of the greatest person I ever had the privilage of sharing a world with.

Didi, you taught me so much, and you will never know how much you will be missed, though I know you’ll always be there by my side in spirit. I shall still speak to you, as I always did, and I will treasure my memories of you. You were such an amazing person, and you fought (however stubbornly) to the bitter end. You gave us all a chance to say goodbye, and I can never tell you how grateful I am to have spent those quiet moments alone by your bedside, watching over you. You were so beautiful right up until I left you. I was told you even looked beautiful in death, which I have no trouble believing.

Rest in peace, Didi. Thank you for a lifetime of happiness. I will never, ever forget you and I love you so much more than words can express. I still cant believe you’re gone, but you live on inside all of us. Until we meet again…say hi to Brutus, Cleo, and the rest of the gang for me! I know they we’re ecstatic to see you!

A special moment between you and Munchkin, that I captured – I’m not sure if you ever got to see this photo…

My Xeon

Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye’s such a hard thing to say
Touching a hand, wondering why
It’s time for saying goodbye
Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we’ve had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It’s time for saying goodbye
Dont want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it’s better to go
Somehow I know we’ll meet again
Not sure quite where,
and I dont know just when
You’re in my heart, so until then
Its time for saying goodbye
Wanna smile, wanna cry
Saying goodbye
La la la la la la la la
It’s time for saying goodbye
– Muppets Take Manhattan

I had to say goodbye to my Xeon today. It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make. It broke my heart. Her breathing was giving her troubles, and periodically she’d gasp for breath and eventually it’d come right. A few times I rushed her to the emergency vet, prepared to say goodbye, but she always fought to come back. She had become very thin as well in the last year. Eventually, I had to make the decision, urged on by her breathing attack last night, which was a fairly bad one.

This afternoon, she bruxed in my hand whilst I held her and explained everything. She bruxed while I cried. She bruxed while I cuddled her. She bruxed for the whole duration of the drive to the vet. She bruxed while eating her last chocolate sunflower seeds in the waiting room. I hope she understood why it had to be done. My heart broke with having to make this heavy decision. I miss her so much.

Rest easy now, my Xeonest. Be a fat rat in Heaven with Maxie, Pepper, Linux, Apple, and your Intel. You’re reunited again, and you’ll forever remain in my memories. I love you, my bruxy rat. My Xeonest. My sweet, beautiful girl. Until we meet again.

Xeon peeping off my windowsill

Snoozing in the duvet during Out Time

After she noticed the camera

A photo taken today…one of my last of her

Posing on my lap

Xeon and Orlith in the hammock, shortly before I had to say goodbye

Xeon trying out her 2nd birthday present