Tails’ Blography

Ok, that title sucks. And it doesnt even sound gramatically correct.

I know I havent blogged in a while. Just having been feeling like doing so lately. Which is sad.

In other news, I’m awaiting the arrival of something wonderful in the post…more on that when it arrives!!

I’ve also become a soccer fan, thought I might not watch soccer after the world cup unless it’s on and I’m by a TV. I wont schedule time to watch it or anything, but its actually an enjoyable sport. And I love love love how the World Cup has affected our country (for my overseas readers, if I have anyone left after this huuuuge leave of absense, I live in South Africa, the country that’s hosting the FIFA Soccer World Cup 2010). Everyone is friendly, cars are waving flags, people are adorning their side-mirrors with flag-socks, people have flags up in their windows of their houses….there is a feeling of unitedness we haven’t had in a long, long time. It was much overdue.

And I love it!

And finally, only a few more hours until my Love gets home (he’s been away on business and I miss him). He would have been back already, but his flight was delayed.

So, to pass the time, I will lounge on the couch watching…wait for it…Soccer! Spain vs Germany (go Germany!), and then maybe I’ll catch an episode of Gilmore Girls (I’m addicted, cant stop watching episode after episode!!).

Chat more when my post box is fruitful!

While browsing the net this evening, I came across a blog that posed this very same question to their readers (in ever so slightly different words). The responses received were very interesting and some were even thought-provoking. In a minute, I shall share a few replies that bring more questions to my mind, but first let me explain a little about myself in the area of Cleanliness.

I’m a Virgo. If you follow astrology, that should already tell you something (Virgonians: critical, perfectionists, fussy). My mom (incidently an Aries) has always been a Clean and Tidy Person; both in herself and her home. My childhood was filled with learning to clean up after myself and to keep things tidy (“everything has a place and everything in it’s place”). To some I’m sure it sounds a lot worse than it was, and I might add at this point that she was never overbearingly tidy. In fact, in my later years I now appreciate all the time and effort she took to teach us to be tidy. It gave me my drive to make my house a Home. To make it look nice. With nice things (I’m always on the look out for new household items). However, and somewhat ironically, I still am very lazy (you can tell that by some of the goals in my 101 list), but, surprisingly, I find it easier to clean other people’s things.
If someone is moving house, I will happily help them pack (though I prefer unpacking), and if someone’s car needs a clean, I’ll happily wash it. That’s just me. I love shows like Clean House, where they have a huge yard sale, clearing out all the junk and revamping people’s homes. I really do.

Now, the question comes in: is it too much to clean someone else’s house. And if you do, should you ask first?

Some of the comments were clearly on the FOR side

Hehe, come to my house, I don’t mind if you clean it!

while others were clearly on the AGAINST side

oh my god. SO creepy and rather insulting. Unless you think I CAN’T clean for some reason, PLEASE do not presume that I want YOU to clean. I’m not immaculate. Don’t make me feel MORE guilty that my place was so dirty that you couldn’t even restrain yourself.

I think I’m on the fence, though my feet are dangling in the FOR side. I know from my own experience, and knowing my own weak areas, that keeping a house clean can be tedious. When I offer to help someone, nine out of ten times I’m not doing it because their place is so untidy I cant stand it, it’s more a case of I’m doing it for my own peace of mind and happiness seeing something go from dirty and untidy, to nice and clean. I guess I like the control of it all and being able to see the result at the end.

I agree w/ others, it depends how well you know the person. Otherwise I think it can come off as “you are a slob and I couldn’t stand being in this dirty place w/out cleaning”.

Fair enough, but I reiterate, it’s more for my own benefit than thinking the other person is a slob. Especially if it’s a friend.

Inviting people over when your home is a disaster area is what’s creepy.

I had to giggle at that comment.

my friends come over to my house to see me, not my home. The last thing they care about is how my home looks. those aren’t the kind of friends I would value.

Spending time with people is far more important than how my house looks. how sad to put things before people or to be that obsessed with appearance. I have and would do the dishes/ tidy up for close friends that I know are too busy or unable to do it.

My friends love it just like I love it when they do something thoughtful for me. We don’t judge each other based on our homes but based on our personalities and actual values.

We have house guest on a fairly regular basis and I think it’s sweet when they do the dishes or sweep the floor. It’s not expected but it is considerate and I sure as heck do not feel like they are implying I am not good enough.

It amazes me how much people read into other people doing nice things for friends. It makes me wonder just what people think “friends” are. the people you need to impress with your neat MCM furniture aren’t what I would call friends.

See now here is where I disagree. While there are the times I would do it out of friendship and for my own selfish means, there are also times where the choice comes down to either staying away entirely or cleaning up.

To an extent, saying friends come over to see the homeowner and not the home is true. But when the home becomes uncomfortable for guests to hang around in due to the amount of dirt all over the place or something, then surely, as a friend to their friends, the homeowner should make an effort to clean up a little?

Maybe its easier for this commenter because, as he/she says, their friends are the same. So no matter who’s house you visit, you’re always in a slobby/messy area. But what about those friends who are tidier and like things neater? Or even, like me, have asthma and is affected a little more by the dust than others would be?

For whatever reasons slobs do not want help. They want you to pretend they are not slobs.

I was married to a slob. It was awful, but true. Also had some slob friends. Although I don’t think any would have minded if you cleaned their toilets or tubs though.

People who are reasonably neat usually don’t mind a little help.

I don’t want or need anyone putting things “away” because I may not be able to find it again. However moving things and vacuuming, sweeping and mopping, dishes and cleaning counters, stove tops or microwaves are all reasonable.
If you are staying over night and are disgusted with the bathroom, then clean it. Apologize to your hosts for you neat freak “problems”. I have family that no longer see the crud in their bathroom. I usually clean the sink when I visit them.
If they are offended they won’t invite you back, if they are not, then they will invite you back.

Yet another post that I can agree with. Sometimes, one becomes too accustomed to the mess that you dont see it anymore. Hell, even I get like that. Actually, thats an honest outright lie. I do see it. I just procratinate on putting stuff away. BUT! I draw the line when it gets too messy to find a place for anything. Then the annoyance of having to find an empty spot to put something gets too much and I clean everything up, and in another two weeks I rinse and repeat.

Here’s the flip side to an uncomfortable situation. My parents always offer to do dishes when they stay with us (we don’t have a dishwasher.) The problem is, they are both HORRIBLE at dish washing – visible food and grease left on the plates and utensils. Even though we say no, please PLEASE don’t, they still insist and then we have to re-wash all the dishes later. I once angrily confronted my dad (though it didn’t sink in), and another time my mom caught me rewashing everything in the morning, and yet they still insist on being “polite guests.” To be truly polite guests, learn to take a hint.

Hmm, interesting. My mom cleans when she visits. Sometimes it annoys me, as there are times when I want my mom to visit and not clean, but other times its nice to have help doing these things. Makes the time go faster. And if I go away, and she comes to feed my rats, I know I’m going to come home to things packed up neatly. I never take advantage of that, but it is nice, I have to admit.

My fecking passive agressive Greek mother-in-law is probably cleaning and decorating my house as I type this. She comes over to let the dogs out suring the day – and then cooks, does laundry, redecorates and does yard work that she has no fecking idea how to do as she has lived in a condo her whole fecking life. And trust me, the only message she is trying to convery is “you are not good enough and I am never, NEVER going to let go of my son”

I need to vent

Not going to comment on this one, but thought I’d put it in for some interesting reading.

The responses on this are so funny! There seems to be a lot of people who feel as though if someone tidied their place, it would be some kind of judgment on them… or maybe they have something to hide or be defensive about? Maybe I just don’t get it – anyone is welcome at my place to clean any time! OCD and cleaning-compulsive types welcome!!

Maybe I’m an optimist or something, but I feel like most people who would start to tidy things have good intentions and aren’t passing judgment. No one’s place is clean 100% of the time, especially with kids or a busy lifestyle. I honestly, don’t watch much TV, so once the kids are asleep, the toys ALWAYS get put away. I have also been known to take a broom to the floor, load the dishwasher and wipe down the counter. I’m not breaking out the rubber gloves and scrubbing toilets or anything, but I just feel better knowing the annoying things are sorted for when they come home. If I have a few minutes to try and make someone’s day a little easier, I will, with the hopes that karma will send a similar gesture my way.

p.s. Dear Karma, my place is a mess – I’ll take that help any time now…

I liked this reply. I have nothing to add here, as she said it perfectly.

Now before signing off, I have to admit, there is a friend who’s house I would like to clean. But only because when they got married, the husband’s brother lived with them for a year or so, and when he moved out eventually, he left a lot of his stuff behind and it’s just kind of sat there. Their place looks cluttered, but I know its not their fault, and I would love to see their place clean and tidy because I know how much better one feels when the home is clean.

Or is it just me who feels good with a clean house?

As you, my dear readers, know that last year I had an epiphany and last August I applied at Unisa to study for a Bachelors of Education. I applied online, paid my R150 application fee, sent off the relevent documents, called a smorgasboard of various people to check if everything went through, and eventually after a lot of hair pulling (my own, unfortunately) lost enthusiasm. Not to mention I was starting a new job in January.

January came and went, and it’s now March. I was looking through some of my bookmarked websites and came across the Unisa one. I saw that applications for second semester were open until the end of March. This got me thinking about my Degree Dream.

I decided to call through and see if my application was still applicable, or if it expired after x amount of time. Turns out, it doesnt expire and I am able to register in June/July when registrations open. After enquiring after my need for an Age Exemption, I was told that was another R350 and I could apply for that at registration. Here’s hoping that goes smoothly.

Now comes the waiting part, which I dont do well at. It’s still another two to three months to wait before I can chain myself to no less than four years of essays, assignments, studying and blood, sweat and tears no doubt.

I’m also nervous. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up next year, and that was pretty much the last time I studied. I did Theory of Pet Grooming, but well, that wasnt that complicated (I presume the Practical is a little moreso). So it’s been a long time since I really used my brain, and if I’m honest with myself, I was never the studious type. And that was in school, with peers, and teachers….now I’ll be all by myself and left to my own devices. What if I cant cut it? What if, no matter how hard I try, I cant reach the grades needed? I know, I know. People keep telling me “but this is something you’ll want to be doing, not just school because you have to…”, but there will be boring parts. And assignments. Hell, after researching how to do essays, I’m left quaking in my very sexy boots. All that referencing, and needing to have valid sources and form opinions on subject matters based on findings (that, as I said, one has to reference!). It’s all so much. So different to high school and something I feel so alien in.

My close friends never went to college/uni, and the one friend I do have that did, is really smart and completely unlike me in her discipline for her studies, and I wasnt around her for her uni-attending hours (ok, I joined her at UCT once or twice and even was so bold as to participate in a lecture haha!) and the stuff she studied was so over my head that I never helped her in any way with essays/research. So in a nutshell, I didnt get to experience the whole Uni vibe. I had classmates who went, but I dont socialise with them. So the whole idea of studying scares me.

Also, the particular degree I’ve chosen, requires 10 modules a year. That’s 5 a semester. That’s…ok I dont know how many exams that is (I presume there are more than one exam per module?), but that’s a whole lot of studying!

But, I have 10 years to finish a 4 year degree, so I will at least get started and let life steer me in the direction it needs me to go. However, I would prefer not to start teaching when I’m almost fourty!

Two weekends ago, the bf and I (along with about 8 other couples and friends) were treated by a friend to a weekend away at a resort just outside of Segdefield, which is along the Garden Route. It was all expenses paid, except food and petrol, which was a real treat! And the resort was gorgeous! Queen bed with complimentary mint chocolates, JC Le Roux champagne on arrival, beautifully decorated chalet with a view over the Swartvlei Lagoon.

We arrived after our leisurely 5 hour journey and, as mentioned, were greeted with a complimentary glass of champagne. Most of our party had arrived and were standing outside chatting and laughing. The weather was gorgeous so we all hung out by the pool and had a braai after we’d settled in.

Our bedroom

Our bathroom

The view of the kitchen

The view of the living room

The view from our balcony

Saturday the bf and I went to the Wild Oats Morning Market, while the other members of our group stayed in to nurse hangovers. The market was huge and very crowded, and there was so much to look at. Food was being served everywhere one looked, and while we were there we had oysters, pancakes, and bacon & egg rolls (not all at once of course hehe).

From left to right: Benches were available everywhere, the bf browsing the ‘Wild Oats’ Morning Market, the stalls and shoppers, and the oysters which I ate!

We returned to the resort and went out to the jetty, grabbed a peddleboat and peddled out to meet some of our friends who were fishing in the lagoon. We returned and spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by the poolside, before having another braai that evening.

Sunday morning the bf and I made bacon and egg for breakfast, and packed our stuff so we were ready to leave. For the rest of the afternoon, until about three, we spent the time on one of the nearby beaches, while our friends fished and tanned. Dolphins were spotted out in the ocean and some of the guys climbed the huge hill closeby to get a better look (too tiring for me, so I stayed behind and read my book).

Us at the beach

My sexy man and our friends in the background

Bluebottle…it was dry, and we popped it…

One of our friends fishing

The weekend was unfortunately too short, but it was so relaxing and beautiful. I’d love to return there some day and have another gorgeous weekend away with my man.

So I know I havent done an update in a while, except for the weekly poll results, and that makes me feel sad (the lack of updates, not the poll results).

I have a few things to update on, so to give myself some structure, I’ll make the list here:

The wedding I shot recently
My sister’s graduation
Unisa updates
Weekend away at Sedgefield

So there it is. I might not update in that order, but those updates will be done by Monday evening! Speaking of which, yay for Monday being a public holiday! I need it!

In other news, a quick update on my WeightWatchers programme: I’ve lost 2.2kgs in total since joining! I’m now down to 53.6kgs!! Only 3.6 to go!!