Tails’ Blography

So as the title says, I’ve lost weight (thanks to WeightWatchers). 1kg to be specific! Yes, sure, some will be water loss, but it still counts! I weighed in at 54.8.

Although I’m excited at having climbed on the scale and seen that I was down by exactly one kilogram, I still realise a few factors could have contributed to make it inaccurate, so I’ll only truly get excited when I’m closer to 53 or 52kgs.

The diet thus far hasnt been very difficult to stick to, and I was a little worried because not much of my eating habits had changed, mainly the portion sizes. I even managed to remove sugar from my coffee without much fuss (I thought I’d hate it more than I did, but it’s actually not bad).

But this just goes to show how important portion sizes are! And in case anyone is wondering, no I didnt go on a diet of just carrots and lettuce or something extreme. In fact, I managed to fit in calamari, a cocktail, a hot cross bun, and even pizza into this week.

For those who are interested, I’ll list my week’s intake here:

Day One:
Breakfast: Nothing
Lunch: White bread x 3, margerine x 3, turkey slices x 6, lettuce and tomato (basically, one closed and one open sandwich): 9pts
Dinner: Chicken leg (medium sized), chicken wing, 1/2 cup of rice, peas and corn (just less than a cup): 7pts
Snacks: Coffee, full cream milk, 2 x sugar, 1 x apple: 3 pts
Total: 19/18 pts

Day Two:
Breakfast: Oasto Easy (Strawberry & Yoghurt flavour): 3.5 pts
Lunch: Nothing.
Dinner: Chicken thigh (with skin), gem squash, 1/2 cup of rice: 6 pts
Snacks: Coffee, full cream milk, 2 x sugar: 2 pts
Total: 11.5/18 pts

Day Three:
Breakfast: 45g All Bran Flakes, 1 cup of full cream milk: 6 pts
Lunch: White bread x 2, ham slice, lettuce and tomato: 3 pts
Dinner: I & J Chunky (crumbed fish), 1/2 cup of rice, peas and corn (about 1 cup): 6 pts
Snacks: Coffee, full cream milk, 2 x sugar: 2 pts
Total: 17/18 pts

Day Four:)
Breakfast: Oasto Easy (Strawberry & Yoghurt flavour): 3.5 pts
Lunch: Hot dog bun, mayo (approx 1.5 tsp), 2 tsp tomato sauce, vienna: 4.5 pts
Dinner: Pizza slice (Roman’s margerita with extra tomato, medium) x 3: 7.5 pts
Snacks: Just Juice can, 100ml wine, Coffee, full cream milk, 2 x sugar: 4 pts
Total: 19.5/18 pts

Day Five:
Breakfast: coffee, 2% milk: 1 pt
Lunch: Burger bun, chicken fillets, sauce (basically a chicken prego roll): 5.5 pts
Dinner: 80g cooked calamari, 1/2 cup of rice, gem squash, 1 tsp Grape Seed Oil (chilli flavour!): 3.5 pts
Snacks: Wine, cocktail, oils and bread pieces: 6 pts
Total: 16/18 pts

Day Six:
Breakfast: coffee, 2% milk, extra milk: 1.5 pts
Lunch: Burger bun, ham, 1tsp Dijonnaise, tomato and lettuce: 4 pts
Dinner: 350g cooked pasta, tomatos, 3 olives, herbs and spices, 1 tsp Grape Seed Oil (chilli flavour!): 5 pts
Snacks: None.
Total: 10.5/18 pts

Day Seven:
Breakfast: Oasto Easy (Strawberry & Yoghurt flavour): 3.5 pts
Lunch: Hot cross bun: 3 pts
Dinner: 125g cooked spaghetti, 100g bolognaise, 2 tsp Grape Seed Oil (chilli flavour!): 7 pts
Snacks: 100ml wine: 1.5 pts
Total: 15/18 pts

I dont reach my 18 points every day, but the times where I normally would take a huge portion (*cough*spaghetti bolognaise*cough*), I’ve cut back which is a big thing. Plus the decrease in sugar intake (eg no sugar on All Bran breakfast or Oasto Easy) is clearing working. Also if you’re more aware at how much a teaspoon of margerine is, you tend not to waste points on it. 1 teaspoon of marg is worth 1 whole point! Eek!

Yay! Here’s to the next kilogram!

So I have a plan to lose those pesky 6kgs that have been bothering me. While I realise, for my height, my weight is technically ok, I dont feel ok. I have made blog posts about my weight before, so those who read it will know my feelings. Anyway, I’m not overweight. I know this. I will also never be super skinny. I know this too. But, I can lose those extra kilos that are bothering me and get back to my 49kgs I used to be. Ok, that’s my ultimate goal. I’ll be happy with being even 50kgs.

“So what is your plan,” you ask, eyes semi-closed in suspicion.

My reply is simple: WeightWatchers.

Yes yes, sounds like something for the morbidly obese. And to an extent, I guess it is. I went in today with a friend, and to be honest, neither of us is overweight. I can speak for both of us when we say we felt a little like scammers, going in and asking to join up, when before us stood various women that were at least 20-40kgs over their ideal weight, if not more. I still asked to join up, because no matter the weight, one has to feel comfortable. Those women probably dont feel comfortable at 80kgs. I dont feel comfortable at 55kgs. It’s all relative. And I took it as a sign that within the past month, at least three people have told me they’ve lost weight and that its easily implemented into everyday life (this was very important to me! It has to be realistic. Weighing food at a braai or opting for a side salad while out at a restaurant are deal breakers for me. It’s not practical.).

Anyway, so my friend decided to join up with her husband next week, as he is keen to join as well, so while I didnt have a buddy to join with for an extra two weeks free of charge bonus (running until end of March), I still signed up. Better start now or I risk losing interest. So I did. I paid my R480 for 12 weeks and got my stuff: a ‘Passport to Success’ booklet, ‘Time for Success’ booklet #1, a ‘Time for Success’ Tracker page, a handy slider to calculate points on items that dont appear in the books, and a ‘Time for Success’ zip pouch to keep everything in. I then paid a further R70 for a WeightWatchers ‘South African Food List’ booklet, which for me, is indispensable.

Let me elaborate a little on some of those items. The ‘Passport to Success’ booklet is my booklet for my weight loss results. This records my attendance and my weight per week for up to week 24. It also has helpful tips on how to plan your weightloss, stick to your ‘diet’ (read: new healthy way of eating), as well as ideal weights for different heights. The ‘Time for Success’ Book #1 is a book that explains everything and how the programme works. Amongst explaining everything, it also has 7 days worth of awesome meal plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as snacks. Each day works out to 18 points, which is the point system I’m on (so ideally, if I stick to that eating plan, I’ll start losing weight). It also has a basic list of popular foods and their corresponding points. The ‘Time for Success’ Tracker is a sheet of paper which I record my days meals and points. You get a new sheet each week at the weigh in. And finally, the South African Food List booklet is a super handy book, with a more detailed point system than found in booklet #1. More on this later.

The basic idea behind WeightWatchers is eating correctly. There is no limit to what you can or cannot eat, nor are they telling you to ‘not mix carbs and proteins’, nor telling you to ‘eat before 7pm’, nor even not to go out to eat. You can eat anything you wish, so long as you stick to your daily point limit. That’s the clincher. And I’ll be 100% honest, it sounds easier than it is, and I only started this evening! While calculating my days intake of points, I quickly found myself on 10 points by lunch, leaving a mere 8 points for dinner. This meant no coffee with milk and sugar, or even orange juice, otherwise I go over my daily limit of 18 points. Already it’s opened my eyes to the amount I used to eat, and I havent even really started. How quickly I would make a cup of coffee, or drink a glass of seemingly healthy fruit juice. Almost everything counts for at least half a point.

While on the subject of points, let me take you through a few common foods and their points. 250ml milk, full cream: 4 1/2 (I divided this by three for use in coffee); tea/coffee, black: 0 (yes, no points used in black tea or coffee); 2 level teaspoons of sugar: 1/2; apple: 1; 100ml wine, semi-sweet: 1 1/2 (light wine: 1/2); 100g raw/approx 80g cooked beef mince: 3; chocolate spread, per tablespoon: 1 1/2; Bar-One chocolate (not the largest size, mind you!): a whopping 7 points!; approx 50g tofu: 1/2; and so on. Various, or should I say most, vegetables and salad items count for 0 points, as well as (oddly enough) diet sodas. 6 olives are 1/2 point, yay!

Other things count towards your point count, such as exercise, and unused points can be carried over to the next day or two in that week. It’s not recommended to add on exercise bonus points, as you might find yourself staying the same weight rather than losing as much as you might have had you not added those extra points. Things like walking briskly for 15 min earns you 1 1/2 points, while kickboxing for the same amount of time earns you 3 points. I had to giggle though, because they list three paces of horseriding (points per 15min): walking: 1; trotting: 1 1/2; and…wait for it, galloping: 2. Uh, when your horse is galloping, you as a rider are doing little to nothing in that time. They would have been better off saying cantering, which is what I presume they meant.

There are so many nice things that are lined up to help you stay on track and motivate you to lose weight, that it seems like a nice and personal experience. I know people who have joined places like Curves, but to be honest, have you ever seen a thin person come out of Curves? I havent. Plus, it’s all old people. And while station circuit can work, unless you have a personal trainer pushing you to do your best, you can work out for an hour and do diddly-squat. Also, you can work out as much as you like, but the bottom line is if you go home afterwards and eat a huge plate of spaghetti bolognaise, you’re completely negating the exercise you just did. And I tell you, the point system appears wonderful. Everything is worked out, you dont have to weigh anything (though I’m using actual measurements to get an eyeball-idea on portions until I get used to things), and you start to realise just how unnecessarily large your portions actually were. Seriously. Making dinner this eve, this was an eye opener for me.

To end off, as I’m sure you’re all bored of me rambling on about all of this, my day’s food consumption was (and may I point out I wasnt planning my meals around the point system until dinner):

Breakfast
Coffee: 0
2 tsp sugar: 1/2
Full cream milk: 1 1/2

Lunch
3 slices of white bread: 3
Medium spread margerine: 3 (yes, three points!)
6 extra thin slices of turkey: 3
1 apple: 1

Dinner
Chicken Leg: 2 (less points if skinless, but I like the skin)
Chicken Wing: 2 1/2 (this is the fattiest piece on the chicken)
1/2 cup of rice: 2 (they give the points for 3/4 cup of rice, but surprisingly 1/2 cup is more than enough!)
Frozen peas & corn: 1/2 (I’m uncertain, but it appears fresh corn is worth 0 points, frozen veg is worth 1/2 per portion)

Totalling: 19 points. Yes yes, one point over, but I dont think I did too badly since I wasnt planning any meals around the point system except dinner.

Alas, now I want some coffee….with milk and sugar. I wont though, because I will do this thing! And by next Tues I hope to have lost something. Or I will cry. Ok, ok, I probably wont cry. I am prepared not to lose weight as quickly as I might hope, because the last few kilos are the most difficult to shed. And I consider my 5 kilos my “last few kilos”.

Check the website for meetings in your area, but as far as I know, they’re always on Tuesdays in the mornings and/or evenings.

I was sad to total up the amount of points I would need for an All You Can Eat Sushi evening…even starving myself for a week wouldnt help. Oh well…that’s the way the 1-point-per-cookie crumbles.

Its finally happened. For years I’ve been waiting for it to happen, but at the same time expecting it never to happen to me. I’m not sure what to call it, but I guess I’d label it an Image Disorder. No, this isnt something to do with photography, but rather me. Plain and simple.

I find myself hating to look in the mirror, because all that looks back is a plain person with dark circles under her eyes, dry skin, heavy thighs, love handles, and plain hair that does not flatter my face.

My first issue is my face and hair. I get tired even just thinking how to blog about it. I guess my face I’ve come to accept, because short of a eyelift or similar there isnt much (if anything) I can do about it. My hair on the other hand is another story. I have it professionally coloured every six to eight weeks, so the colour is fine, but the cut isnt. Sure it looks great for the first week or two after I get it cut, but then it just goes back into the same boring style when I tie my hair up: middle path, stupid horn-like fringe (“bangs” for my USA readers), which just looks stupid. There also isnt any body in my hair, so when I tie it back, unlike some gorgeous people I see walking around, my hair just looks unwashed, even when its clean. I try lift it and use hair clips and such, but they just dont work, or probably more likely, I dont know how to use them to their full potential (how pathetic is that, hey, a woman with long hair who cant do anything with it). I’ve tried curling it, but they dont stay in, and they annoy me after a while…I like being able to brush my hair, and with curls, the best I can do is run my fingers through it. I’m waiting for my colour to arrive and then I’m going to try a new haircut. I want a bigger fringe, one that doesnt end up looking like horns, but I know the haircut is going to be a stressful event, as, well, my mother is my hairstylest (she’s been a pro hairstylest all my life) but you know how it goes when its family…arguments break out where they normally wouldnt with a customer. Also maintaining it is a problem (I’m lazy). I know, I know, I want to have my cake and keep it all at the same time: stylish hair with no effort. Pfft, like that will happen! Next to my mom and my sister, I look like an ugly duckling with my hair.

My body is probably my biggest gripe. My mother and sister are both size 26-28 (not sure what that is in USA sizes, sorry) and I’m a 34…wow just typing it in that comparison makes me feel huge :( I know, given my bone structure, that its almost virtually impossible for me to be a 28 but I’d be happy with just a 30! Thats a decent size for me…I’m not asking too much??! I’d just like to try on a dress and not have to worry if I look fat in it. Ok, sure, thats what every women wants, but having a mother and sister so thin, why is it so difficult for me?? I love food, there’s no denying that, but lately I’ve been trying to cut back on everything I eat. I’m even about to start eating off of a sideplate just to make my small portion look bigger!!

My disorder now has reached a point where, when out shopping with my sister and mother (something that doesnt happen very often any more for obvious reasons), I see myself in the mirror and feel horrid. I hate myself. I went out today and did some browsing, caught a glimpse of myself and nearly started crying. I just hate it. And this is the part I never thought I’d get to: hating myself. I feel large and ungainly in everything I wear, I have to struggle to find jeans that dont make my ass look huge, I cant wear most of the in-style tops because they just dont flatter my figure, and lets not get started on swimwear.

I watch my sister try on jeans, and no matter what style she tries on, she looks good. Flare, bootleg, skinny, pencil, capris, they all look good. The cargo pants type material…sheesh I cant even go near that or I look huge. I hate it. I’m sitting here typing this, and I’m even starting to tear up.

The problem is, I cant seem to lose weight. I know I dont have to lose weight, but rather tone up and do some exercise, but I have no time for it. None whatsoever. And when I did try gym 3 times a week, it didnt help to the extent I thought it would after the few months I’d been going. I’m now starting another gymming plan, and hopefully I’ve finally mentally and emotionally cracked enough that it becomes easier to stick to day after day. Same with eating. Today, I had a thin rusk for breakfast, with some tea, two and a half crackerbreads with some cottage cheese, and then later, while walking around the shops, a peanut butter smoothie (how healthy is that *rolls eyes*). For dinner, since its Tuesday, I’m having veggies, a chicken breast, and a chicken wing (Michael will get sauteed potatoes again :D). Every day is a struggle and I hate it! I’m getting to the end of my tether and I dont know what to do!

*sigh* I guess I just need to rant about it on here, since talking to my mom and sister only gets me comments like “oooooh, you shouldnt eat that!” while I’m eating something, or “uh-oh, thats going to make you fat”, or “careful, when you’re older you’re not going to be able to lose the weight and you’re going to end up like {insert name of older, larger person}”….its a wonder why I didnt get this disorder sooner.

I know I’m not fat, I weigh 53/54kgs, I have a larger bone structure than my mom and sister, and I’m 5′2″. I just wish my inner thighs didnt touch, that I didnt have love handles, and that I looked good in any dress I try on. Ok almost any dress (at least).

PS: The meal in my post Chicken Tuesday…with a difference! is not the normal sized meal I have…its normally smaller, that was an unusually big piece of chicken!